For one thing, I’m sure I could have been arrested for assault and battery or something.
And the lawyer fees and such would be quite expensive and the whole process would have been quite a hassle – making the punch hardly worth it.
Plus, I would have hurt my hand and I would have been embarrassed for losing my temper so easily.
Here’s the rundown of what happened:
I actually worked out this morning. This is HUGE for me as I am out of shape and horrible about regular exercise. And WAY out of practice. And because my head was hurting after a tad too much wine last night with a friend. Also because it’s been a hell of a last couple of weeks and I am fried.
But because I told my dear friend Yoda that I would go today, I sucked it up and went. She takes me to her workout group sometimes with a trainer who leads a group of about five or six ladies for workouts on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings. Great group of people. Except for the one I wanted to punch in the face today. I know, I know… I sound so mean and severe. Which is why you need more background.
So within the first 20 minutes, face punch gal corrects me on how I pronounced a place that I have been to many times, the Apalachicola area of Florida, which happened to come up in a conversation I was having with other people. She calls me out in front of the group and tells me that I mispronounced it and proceeds to tell me slowly and loudly how Apalachicola is “actually pronounced.” (I know, who does this?) She tells me “there is no L at the end of Apalachicola.” I irritatingly waved her off because I didn’t want to argue over something so ridiculous. First off, there is an L in the end of Apalachicola. Secondly, I’m a journalism major who strives to spell and pronounce things correctly, because I usually know how to. Thirdly, who the heck cares if I even did mispronounce it, and why did she feel the need to correct me (wrongly at that) when I wasn’t even speaking to her? I know this sounds petty, but It gets better.
For the next part of the workout, I got stuck on the mat next to face punch gal for several sets of exercises. She proceeds to correct the way I was doing at least half of the exercises. She even comments to the trainer that I wasn’t feeling the burn like she was since I was doing one of the exercises incorrectly the whole time. For real. It gets even better. And I hadn’t hit her yet.
Next, as she is seeing me struggle with keeping up with murderous abs exercises and hearing me actually grunt a little as I struggled to finish (it was toward the end of our hour and remember, I am not in shape), I hear her ask the trainer why our workout was so easy today. She confirmed that it would be harder on Friday and then asked if she could do some dead lifts with weights to make up for how easy the workout was.
It was right about that moment when if I could have physically mustered the strength to, I swear to you I wanted to punch her in the face repeatedly (metaphorically speaking of course).
I know I shouldn’t let people like this get to me, and I realize my wine headache probably wasn’t helping, but I don’t think people with such limited tact and social skills should be allowed to leave their houses, ever.
Thanks for your patience with my little face-punch rant, I know this was rather off-theme for me since I try to have some kind of grateful or positive slant to my posts as much as possible.
But some days, I’m just glad I didn’t punch anyone in the face.