Open letter to a Barbecue Lay’s Potato Chip

chipsDear Barbecue Lays Potato Chip,

Tell me why, after all these years, have you found me again?  Now I’m afraid I won’t be able to forget you again for a while.

I have resisted your temptation for a few years now since my boys have become obsessed with you.  I have often stared at your bag in the pantry where you live with all of your relative chips.  Even though I try to store you out of my sight, I still see you.  You have just politely and quietly stared back, almost knowing that you were my forbidden fruit and having mercy on me.

Maybe it was the way that our grocery store has been recently remodeled so  beautifully, making that chip aisle damn near impossible not to stare dreamy-eyed down the aisle of shiny bags, with you now perfectly positioned at eye level upon approach.  I think I heard harps playing in the distance as I pushed my cart down that aisle the other day.

You made me buy a couple of bags of you for the kids.  I didn’t want them to run out, after all.  I brought you home, and tried to position you  in the pantry so that I couldn’t make eye contact.

But then the other night, as I was perfectly perched with my soft blanket and dimmed lights, ready to watch my trashy Sunday night Housewives TV series (that makes my life look ever so simple, which is a good thing), I heard you calling.

Maybe it was Clone’s fault for being so nice and asking me if I wanted him to get me anything after grinning at the TV screen, knowing how awful the TV show was that I was about to spend an hour with.  My household loves to make fun of me for this weekly vice.

Whatever it was, I gave in.  I ate way too many of you.   So many that I might even be able to forget you for a while since I satisfied my craving so sufficiently.  If it weren’t for the orange powdery residue you left under my nails.  That makes it harder to forget you.

You were good.  I thank you for that.

If I smoked I would have had a cigarette afterwards.

Thank you for the great Lays, my friend.

19 thoughts on “Open letter to a Barbecue Lay’s Potato Chip

  1. “If I smoked I would have had a cigarette afterwards.” Too funny! 🙂

    I have the same problem with those darned veggie sticks. I can’t have them in my house, or else they are in my mouth!

  2. I’m a Kettle Brand sea salt and vinegar girl, although I have managed to avoid them for a few years now, so I think I’m in full recovery….

  3. tee-hee.. “the man” syndrome.. I completely understand as me and Mr Gelato have a soiree every so often too!

    Lays, bet you really can’t eat just one 😉

  4. The latest crack addiction in the Lay’s line is Sweet Southern Heat version of BBQ chip. Sh*tballs – I can’t stop eating them. They are my obsession. I try not to buy them very often – if the kids are around, the three of us can consume a bag in one day. Thanks for the chuckle.

Click 'like' if you enjoyed this post. And, go ahead ... make my day. Leave a reply. It's easy.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s