So many “moving days” flash through my mind like a slideshow in an old Kodak carousel.
Up to this point, moving days that I recall have been full of happy memories.
My nervous anticipation as I unpacked my little red car to move into my first college dorm room. And the bittersweet excitement I felt when MacGyver and I left my hometown in our little Budget rent-a-truck as newlyweds to drive 1500 miles away and start our life together.
My overflowing sense of pride as we moved into the first little house we purchased years later, and the unbound joy we felt as we brought our babies home from the hospital and moved them into their newly decorated little rooms.
I can also envision moving my kids to their own college dorm rooms in the not-so-distant future, as hard as that is to believe. Just imagining how bittersweet that will feel puts a lump in my throat.
So many moving days filled warm, bittersweet feelings.
Then there’s tomorrow. A move-in day I hadn’t really ever imagined, mostly out of denial. The day I move my Mom into a nursing home.
A wonderful, safe and perfect place for her. But a nursing home no less.
She doesn’t recognize me much any more and her head has started to hang lower as if her little neck muscles are starting to give up, so I don’t think she will be sad about the move. Correction: I pray that she will not be sad, or give me that far-away, but at the same time, not-so-far-away look in her deep, beautiful, soulful brown eyes.
Our roles have now reversed. And as such, I have written her name in Sharpie on the labels of all of her clothes and towels as I have packed them for her moving day. As if I’m getting ready to take her to camp tomorrow.
It’s all very surreal in so many ways, as the snow spins in the wind outside my window this first day of May.
A new and different kind of ‘moving day’ indeed.
I am just reading this and I am so sorry to learn your news. I remember that day with my mom all to well and the toll it took on us emotionally and how it changed my life forever. ours wasimmediately after my father’s death. The visits, the decline, the tears and anguish. My heart knows your struggle even thought your is as unique as the relationship you have with your mom. Wish we could chat and share a cupof coffee or silent empathy.
You are such a gentle and kind spirit. Lucky to have my blogging friends as a support group. Thank you.
Beautiful post. Brought back memories of the day we made that decision for my mother-in-law. Very painful, but absolutely the right decision. Take care of yourself. Your mom is so lucky to have you.
I really hope the day goes well for you, this is such a beautiful and moving post. I’m sending big hugs your way…
Sending lots of love your way today …
thanks my friend….
One of the worst moving days ever. . . so sorry
thank you ….
Very very nicely done. You have a difficult climb ahead, one that you will never forget. Be strong, be there, be true.
What a beautiful post. Sincerely beautiful.
Thinking of you today.
Thank you so much..
I’m sure this will not be an easy day. Wishing for you, peace of mind, and kindness and understanding from all the members of your family.
All that good energy is bound to help. Thank you.
Praying that the move goes well for you and your Mom xx
thank you so much.
i will be praying for you and your mom tomorrow, Be calmed by the idea that she will be in a safer place – for the both of you. May I be able to be as level headed when the day comes for my mom. Peace be with you and your family.
I am so blessed to have such a great support group out her in the blogosphere. Thank you. So tempted to call you cousin since your name is my maiden name. But you wouldn’t know I was joking and it would just seem weird. 🙂
This is a beautiful, pensive post. I love the photo, and my heart aches for your moving your mom. Much love to you and her.
thank you so much for your note…
Oh mercy, “not-so-far-away look in her deep, beautiful, soulful brown eyes.”.. you just took a piece of my heart..
I am praying the universe wraps all of you in strength and guidance as your Mother transitions to her new home..
thanks so much my friend…
Prayers for you both. It is a hard transition.
Thank you for all your support through this. Really.
If it’s any consolation, my mother-in-law was very well cared for, surrounded by folks her own age, engaged by the medical/recreation staff on a constant basis, lovingly supervised, and, I really do believe this — loved and respected — by the people who came to know her in, what turned out to be, the last year of her life. It was her choice; she was cognizant enough to make the choice — that was a blessing. But, even if she wasn’t, at the end of the day it would have been the right choice for her. I am certain that you weighed carefully your mother’s options. Her safety and your piece of mind are really paramount when making these kinds of very difficult decisions. You are in my thoughts and prayers. My best to you.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful note. I know I will get some great stories out of my upcoming ‘Visits to Juniper Village.’ Stopped by yesterday to set her room up and met some wonderful, sweet and hilarious characters for this new chapter.
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I am envisioning the Universe wrapping you and your mom in huge, comforting hugs. What an enormous challenge.
awww. thank you.
I dread that day with my dad. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you. Hugs
If affected by this disease, I hope I go peacefully before my kids have to make this decision.
I will keep you all in my thoughts/prayers for tomorrow. Transitions like this are always bittersweet. The RCC is here for you 🙂
thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts…
I hope things went well with your mom’s move!
Not great, but not awful. As good as could be expected I guess. You are so sweet to be so thoughtful. Thank you.
How is your mom doing in the new place…and how are you doing with her in there?
Thoughts and prayers for you and your mom tomorrow.
Thank you for your kindness…
This is such a lovely post. I will be thinking of you tomorrow.