Tag Archives: learning new things

Flipping the bird. A Different Take on New Year’s Resolutions.

shoot the bird

Are you tired of hearing about New Year’s resolutions yet?

As cliché as it sounds, I love New Year’s resolutions.  It’s quite liberating to step back and assess which of my thought patterns and habits need to be tweaked or ‘given the finger.’  Kind of like cleaning out the fridge after the holidays.

Especially right after I take down all of my Christmas decorations and re-box them in the basement.  This cleansing ritual helps me settle my thoughts and reach inward to my control panel to adjust whatever habits need some fine-tuning and determine which thinking patterns need to be given ‘the bird.’ (My son has never heard of these ‘bird’ references related to the middle finger gesture.  I know this because he was the co-director in my middle finger photo shoot. My e-book on parenting will be out soon.)

So, let’s get on with it. To which thought patterns and habits shall I flip the bird to this coming year?

In 2013, I am going to give the one finger salute to the following:

1.My inner gremlins.  (Translation:  I will throw negative self talk out the window at every possible turn.) This is particularly important as the new year begins, because this whole resolution thing can often turn into a time when we beat ourselves up about what we didn’t accomplish last year.  I’ve been a lot better about this, which I’m proud of, but I am a work in progress.  My inner gremlins still mess with me.

The trick to taming these gremlins (who like to sabotage us with negative self talk and excuses) is to become aware of them. And notice when they typically start yammering. As a great book for all ages, (Taming Your Gremlin), explains, gremlins hate to be noticed. It throws them off guard and weakens them.  This year I will recognize my gremlins and push them in the corner. (This is when I picture giving the gremlins the one finger salute as I walk away while tuning my self- talk to a more positive station.)

2. The barrage of marketing attempts raging around me at all times.  I will no  longer waste time thinking about buying things that marketers are quite good at making me think that I need. Or waste time thinking about how to redesign my perfectly functional kitchen or closets.  I will focus on what matters.  I will NOT get sucked in by direct mail catalogs, marketing emails, and ridiculous coupons (DAMN THOSE MACY’S SAVING PASS CARDS) that distract me from the more important things in life.  

For goodness sake, I have a marketing background, and I still get sucked in.  This year I will be more cognizant of how I spend my time. Maybe I will set-up an email rule to sort all of my advertising emails (many of them that I signed up for in order to receive discounts that just sucker me in) into a folder that I can open only if a need actually arises?  What a concept.

3. Small stuff that doesn’t matter.  I’m going to think less about what bothers me and instead strive to love more.   I’m going to make time to encourage others, to lift them up, to help others, and to make sure they know how much I care about them.  I will forget about the small, stupid stuff that irritates me. I won’t hold others to my standards, or expect them to behave as I would.  I will turn that little mirror inward  immediately when I start to complain or get irritated.

4. Worry. This year I will worry less and live in the moment more. I will worry less about what people think, about what kind of shape I’m in, about what I wished I had done before today, about my Mom, about whether I’m doing enough, about being far away from so much family, about my kids growing up too fast, about what could, might or will happen. I will live in the moment and do the best that I can as often as I can, and know that it’s enough.

5. The excuses that stunt my personal growth.  I will set aside routine time and plan deadlines for myself this year for writing, meditation, fine-tuning my body and taking better care of myself, learning new skills and taking time to do some things that fire-up my internal engines like painting or volunteering or riding horses.  As a result, I will grow more as a person this year.

6. Going through the motions.  Instead, I will be more awake this year.  I will ‘show-up’ for life.  I will not focus on what’s expected, but rather what feels right.  I will notice and listen and observe.  I won’t play it as safe.

I realize there will be hurdles along the way and that flipping-off all of these negative patterns 100% of the time will not be easy.  (I also realize that I shouldn’t start flipping anyone or anything off in public.) But I’m going to do my damnedest to make some changes and fully engage in this mental tune-up.

It’s going to be a fun year.  Thanks, as always, for being on this journey with me.

Any old thought patterns you’d like to ‘shoot the bird’ to this year?

Wrapping up 2012 with Eleven Random Facts.

barbie

I would like to thank my Canadian blogger friends Dennis at Weird Stuff Happens to Me and Fern at The Fur Files for nominating me for the Liebster award and the Lovely Blog award over these last few weeks. I am always truly honored to be called out by one of my fellow bloggers who entertain and educate me with their words each day.

So now, because I have received these awards, I am supposed to list seven or eleven random things about myself and nominate other bloggers for awards.

For past awards I have listed what I think are the main random things about myself (that I’m a germaphobic, martini-drinking, stubborn-as-hell Taurus who curses like a sailor and likes old cars and fart jokes as much as a third grade boy).  And if you read my blog you already know a heck of a lot about me, but here are a few more random facts you probably don’t know:liebsterlovely

1.  I like plain Folgers coffee better than Starbucks coffee — I can hear the gasps of astonishment and bewilderment now.  (Thank God there is something I don’t spend too much on).

2.  When I find something I like (as in clothes or gadgets), for some reason I think I need two or three of them, sometimes in different colors.  (Is that hoarding?)

3.  I am the all-time MASTER of procrastination. (So much so that I still haven’t read the How to Stop Procrastinating book I bought 20 years ago)

4. I have one friend who receives gifts from me each year that are either related to Jason of Friday the 13th movies or to Barbie arms (Long story on both.  Always on a quest for a better Barbie arm gadget – see pic of ring holder and earrings.)

5.  I have more half-read books than probably anyone on the planet. (Most likely another symptom of my undiagnosed ADD.)

6.  I really want to spring for an Elfa closet install/makeover through the Container Store. (I go through this every January during their big sale and I never pull the trigger.)

7.  I’m eating nacho cheese Doritos right now instead of  one of the many healthy items I have in my kitchen so that I will eat healthier. (Like apples, oranges, carrots and healthy nuts – got tons of  all of these.  Wouldn’t pretty much anything be healthier than Doritos?  Even a bite of a tire…)

8. If doomsday had come on December 21st, there is enough food in my pantry to feed the neighborhood for a few months.  (Maybe I lived during the depression in a former life?)

9. I buy FAR TOO MANY throw pillows.  (It’s ridiculous. The ones on my sectional now still have tags on them until I can decide if they are keepers.) And why are they called “throw” pillows?  Are we supposed to throw them at each other?

10. I’m obsessed with 1980s era Porsche 911s.  (Particularly one named Lola.)

11. No matter what hotel, home or condo we ever visit, I always sleep on the side of the bed that’s not by the window. (I have no idea why on this one, but I am subconsciously consistent about it.)

Here are some bloggers I would like to give some shout-outs to (If you are one of them, please pick which award you would like and list 7 or 11 random facts about yourself and nominate seven fellow bloggers.  I think I’m supposed to pick blogs with fewer than 200 followers – I apologize if I goof since it’s hard to tell sometimes. Also hard to remember who already has what award. If you’re not listed, I may have already nominated you for something or will soon!

These bloggers make me laugh so hard that my family says “WHAT MOM?” or they make me think or cry or smile on a daily basis.  So many great ones that it’s hard to narrow some down.

Here goes: Free Penny Press, Emotional Fitness Training. Keeping the Glass Half Full, Life with the top down, Lorna’s voice, Ambling & Rambling, Writing Life Stories.

So there you have it.  Have a great New Year’s Eve celebration, whatever you do and wherever you do it!  Just BE SAFE.lifeonwrybumpersticker

What’s something random about you?

2012 in review – Life on Wry.

WordPress.com  prepared a 2012 annual report for lifeonwry.com, which I began actively attending to (making  myself write for!) in August. Pretty cool little report on this little ol’ blog.  (And pretty smart marketing technique on behalf of WordPress.) Thanks for following me on this journey of gratitude, of self discovery and growth and of the wryness of life.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 7,700 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 13 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

Thinking we were sexy in the blue Berlinetta…

berlinetta

I can see it now.  The baby blue interior of my sister’s beautiful dark blue 1979 Camero Berlinetta as she drove us down the turnpike on one of our pilgrimages to our dad’s house when we were young.  He and my stepmom lived in a nearby town about 45 minutes away, which seemed like a long car ride at the time. We did that road trip so many times I practically had every road sign memorized.  I was around 10 or 11 and she was around 16 or 17 years old.

Let me just say that we ROCKED that 8 track player on our turnpike trips.  I can picture us now, two young brunettes bobbing our heads to the music and singing very loudly while gyrating all over the car while in transit.  (Not super safe but we usually had a hell of a fun ride.)

So when a few of our theme songs from these little sisterly road trips come on the radio I am instantly transported back in time, sitting shotgun in the Berlinetta like my sister’s sidekick who thought everything she did was cooler than cool.  And she was cool.  One of the funniest, smartest and wittiest people I have ever known.

She drove the heck out of that car and it survived much abuse, a flood, even a few wrecks.  I remember the doors were so heavy it almost took two hands to pull them shut. And I’m surprised we didn’t wear that 8 track player out. Man, the stories that car could tell.

The Gap Band You dropped a bomb on me – (click to watch hilarious video – these guys are from Tulsa OK and  band name was based on first letter of the three streets they lived on: Greenwood, Archer and Pine.) .  Don Henley (Dirty Laundry) and the song that most  reminds me of these trips … Rod Stewart … If you think I’m Sexy … and you want my body…. come on suga lemme know….  We would sing out every word along with dear Rod.  I’m sure microphone gestures were involved.

This flashback-inducing song came on the radio as I was flipping through channels on my morning drive today.  (XM radio is my guilty pleasure and I love it so much that sometimes I sit in the car after I arrive just to listen – where else can you find a whole channel just for 70s or Elvis music? Or listen to what the weather is like in southern Asia?  And LOADS of great news channels for news junkies like me.  It’s my own form of crack.)

So as Rod started singing about his sexiness, I drove right back out of my neighborhood and did the long loop home as I blared that music so loudly that I could feel the seats vibrating.  Click to take a quick listen and I bet you smile.

Da'_Ya'_Think_I'm_Sexy_single_cover

The happy tears started running down my face as I smiled and I’m quite certain the crazy lady mascara effect on the way back into the neighborhood frightened a driver or two.

God bless Rod Stewart for his crazy hair, raspy voice and definitely for his sexiness.  And that blue Berlinetta.

What song transports you back in time?

Top Thing I Really Should Have Learned in 2012. (Top Ten Continued)

Top Thing I Really Should Have Learned More About in 2012: MATH

As a kind and gracious reader of my last post pointed out, I left out #5 on my top ten lessons learned. I’ve always said as a Journalism major, I simply don’t do math. But really, that’s pretty funny.

So what would number 5 really be?

snowintree

Well, as I drove home from school drop off this morning, I couldn’t help staring wide-eyed at the snow all around me.  And noticing how soft it felt under my boots and as it landed on my sweater. I wanted to take a picture of every tree with snow perfectly placed on its branches as I drove past them this morning .  I know it sounds corny, but I really don’t care.

Even at 20 degrees this morning, I couldn’t help smiling.  I even went back outside after my return to take my neighbor’s paper to her doorstep.  It was so beautiful and perfect and soft that I seriously didn’t notice the 20 degrees.

I have learned the importance of stopping and noticing so much more in 2012.  Maybe it’s the writing that has made me more observant.  Or the introspection that more disciplined writing has spurred.  Or maybe this gratitude thing has really started to change my view in a way more significant than I had realized?

But it feels right despite its borderline cornitude.  I’m slowing to notice the snow, the deep orange and pink skies letting the sun out from under its covers early in the morning and the brilliance of the moon in our bathroom skylight before I close my eyes. The way petting my little red furry muse (monkey dog) warms me inside and makes my blood move more thoughtfully through my veins. The way so many people and things are not what I had first thought before I started this process.

The twinkle in my sons’ eyes when I spend extra minutes to encourage them and talk to them before they go to bed. The way each year we think our Christmas tree is the prettiest we’ve ever had. The way my Mom’s giggle was back (even if temporarily) when I visited her yesterday as she picked up one of the bills I was paying over the phone and gestured to it like it had the best joke written on it that she had ever read. Even though she lost her ability to read and comprehend a good year or so ago.

Maybe a part of my brain that was asleep has peeled the covers back to take another look?  I hope it never goes back to sleep.

Indeed, that is the number 5 lesson learned for little Miss Math Challenged … how powerful the effect of stopping and noticing can be.

What have you stopped and noticed today? 

Top Ten Things I Learned in 2012

treepiper

10. There is no need to beat myself up about anything if I’m doing the best that I can.

9. I should never, ever stop learning.  There is still far too much to learn.

8. I am the #1 advocate for my children and should never be intimidated to advocate for them; it’s my job.

7. If we keep our eyes and hearts open, an unexpected smile, a delightful conversation or a great lesson can be found at every turn.

6. Childhood only happens once for our kids, and they’ll be gone before we know it.  Even if we’ve had a long day, we should teach them every single day how to be the kind of adults we hope they will be. And a lot of that is done by example.

4. If  I don’t like something, figuring out how to change it instead of bitching about it makes a whole lot more sense.

3. It doesn’t do any good to worry about what I can’t control.  Instead follow Dora’s advice in Finding Nemo: “Just Keep Swimming, just keep swimming….”  It will work out, whatever it is.  That was one smart fish.

2. Gratitude can make a hell of a difference in my life.

1.  Life is short so I should not sweat the small stuff and instead focus on making a difference in this world, which feels crazy good.

I learned a lot more than this in 2012, but these were definitely some highlights.  Thanks – as always – for being on this journey with me.

What are a few top things you learned this year?

Reprogramming my Brain’s Autodrive — a Holiday (and Life) Survival Technique

Cerebral_lobes

I haven’t written in several days.  I figure it’s because of the general holiday madness that seems to zap every spare moment I have.  But also due to my sporadic funk caused by emotions and memories that come rushing in at me during the holidays, like a rising tide that splashes me when I’m not paying attention, just a little at a time.

Just the other day I was reminded of events that brought back some not-so-great memories and feelings. A piece of mail was all it took to break this particular dam of unsettled emotions.  I found myself reliving hurt and anger over past events from many years ago. Until I caught myself and became aware of what was happening.

I’ve been much more zen (as my niece puts it) and more at ease with everything and everyone this past year, so I’m a little disappointed with myself when I let this happen. My logical self knows better than to replay and get riled up over events that are over and done with.  And move forward. Because, as I always say, life is short …  right?

Fortunately I was able to catch myself and become aware of what I was allowing to happen.  At that point I remembered an interview I heard on the radio in my car just an hour or so before. It was an interview with Deepak Chopra about his new book that he wrote with Rudolph E. Tanzi, an expert on the causes of Alzheimer’s.  It’s called Super Brain, Unleashing the Explosive Power of Your Mind to Maximize Health, Happiness and Spiritual Well Being.   (I just bought it for myself as an early Christmas present to read on my Ipad.)

In the interview Chopra discussed how, in contrast to the “baseline brain” that fulfills the tasks of everyday life, the brain can be taught, through a person’s increased self-awareness and conscious intention, to reach far beyond its present limitations.  He explained how we don’t have to expect to react to situations  in the same ways we always have (the interview was relating this to holiday stressors like family visits).  Because, as he explained, nothing can inevitably make us feel a certain way.  We often decide how to react based on our brain’s “autodrive”  which has been programmed with patterns and expectations.

The book discusses how we can easily reshape and reprogram our brain to better awareness, health and well-being.  How a better mind-body connection, combined with a lifestyle for a healthy brain, can actually diminish effects of aging and memory loss, anxiety and even obesity and more.  Their work debunks several myths about how we understand the brain and aging, explaining how we can actually increase brain cells as we age, rewire our brain to stay young, and prevent memory loss. I still need to read the book, but connecting feelings with memories seems to be a common thread of their discussions.

Chopra explained a particularly memorable technique called STOP to use when faced with any challenge or unwelcome feeling:

S – Stop what you are doing

T- Take a deep breath

O- Observe what is happening in your body

P – Proceed with kindness, joy and love.

And this is what I will continue to try to practice — which is also the basis of what therapists, philosophers and yogis have been trying to teach us for years.  To step back — become more  present and aware — and proceed with the manual setting fully switched to the ‘on’ position.

What feelings have you become more aware of – and in better control of –  over the years?

I’m grateful for these reminders and insights, and the ability to further take charge of my fate. Thanks for reading…

Code Blue: Gratitude Withdrawal! (Next Challenge is ON, Baby.)

As the holidays approach, I’m embarrassed to admit that this week has been entirely sucky. I’ve felt overwhelmed by life in general, by my only-child parent care-taking guilt and worries, my kid obligations and stress, and my work, which continues to dramatically uninspire me as I cram on deadlines until midnight only to write more editions of corporate gruel.  And the fact that I already received my first Christmas card in the mail a few days ago – WHILE IT’S STILL NOVEMBER FOR GOD’S SAKE, PEOPLE – sure as hell didn’t  help. (No, it wasn’t a Thanksgiving card, which would have been fine. Doesn’t everyone know that most citizens ceremoniously TORCH cards that come that early in November only to stress us the hell out about how behind we are?)

I seriously think the main reason for my crappy mindset this past week is due to my lack of gratitude blogging, which I had been doing religiously for 100 days.  I should have been celebrating this 100-day success all week, but instead I was busy being irritated and overwhelmed by everyone and everything.  I think the diagnosis is full-on gratitude withdrawal. Either that or everyone and everything is getting on my nerves on purpose, which you never know.

So here’s the deal:  My next challenge will be to blog about Grasping for Gratitude – One Day at a Time –  for a minimum of three days per week for as long as I feel like it. But I can’t stop until I proclaim another challenge (that way the procrastinator beast within me is held somewhat accountable).

Thank God I took exercise out of this next challenge.  I am grateful for my openness to try it and for my ability to see that it wasn’t going to fly. I really don’t need anything else to feel guilty about.  So let’s pretend like that never happened. (I’ll exercise anyway as much as I can, but it won’t be part of my blog.)

This Grasping for Gratitude idea will also be the focus of some other writing I am working on. I have talked to so many friends lately who have hard stuff (crap) going on in our lives right now — as we all do (if not now, then at some point).  And, frankly, the only way we’re going to make it to the other side of whatever we’re dealing with — without turning into resentful, grumpy or bitchy people — is by grasping for gratitude as if our life depends on it.  And I’m determined that when we make it to the other side (or onto our next chapter), we become stronger human beings who are more compassionate, more self-aware and more centered.  This is my goal.

So …  I’ll take a shot of gratitude, with a little salt and lime on the side.  This will help me get past the gaudy, overboard, unmatching lights that went up in my neighborhood several days BEFORE Thanksgiving (Bah Humbug) that make me insane.  (And that I find so particularly ironic considering I live in such a crunchy energy-conserving state.)  …. Along with many other things that make me nuts. (Thank goodness my friends and family enjoy nuts.)

Whew, I feel better.  Thanks for your patience with my little rant. And thanks – ever so much – for your support on this journey.

I challenge YOU to jot something down that you are grateful for every time you read one of my Grasping for Gratitude posts. Grab a notebook or pad of paper (nothing fancy – that’s just a procrastination technique), or start a running document on your computer’s desktop – and start a simple list of what you’re grateful for – one day at a time. You’ll thank me later.

What are you grateful for today?

Random Acts Challenge. Gratitude Experiment: Day 65

A friend sent me an email this week  that talked about gratitude and random acts of kindness.  There were terrific photos with examples of random acts of kindness – people giving shoes to the shoe-less, someone holding an umbrella for someone who couldn’t hold it for themselves, a note from someone paying the tab for couple of new parents at a restaurant, and several more.

It seems to me that sometimes we spend a lot of time thinking about what we don’t like, what we want next and what we don’t have. I fall into this same rut sometimes.

My challenge is this:  For every time this week that I start to complain about something or someone, or think about some “thing” that I want, I will stop and remind myself how lucky I am and think of one random act of kindness to do.  I will try to do this once per day this coming week.  We’ll see how it goes.

Want to play? I challenge you to do it and see what kind of effect it can have. Challenge your friends or kids to. What a great thing to teach kids.  I know it sounds cheesy, but bear with me and give it a go.

There are websites dedicated to providing examples of easy random acts of kindness and you can Google it – from holding the door open (to me this should be a no-brainer), paying the tab for someone behind you, doing yard work for someone, donating books to the library, cooking a meal for someone, picking up trash, writing a letter or card to someone you appreciate, the list goes on. It doesn’t take much.  One of my favorites is to surprise someone who seems like they would really appreciate it (and never expect it) with a much larger tip than usual. Or to let people go in front of me in line if they seem rushed (freaks people out a little so the entertainment factor is a bonus).

Today I’m grateful for being reminded about random acts of kindness.  And for my readers. Go forth and randomly act. Thanks for reading.

Watch out for flying pumpkins. Gratitude Experiment: Day 50

by Scenic Reflections

Warning: The following post is a work of NONfiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are NOT products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously.  Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely real. (This actually happened to me and I am not making it up.)

October has arrived and I am starting to see Halloween decorations in all the stores. Each October for the last 30 years (except for the last two), my Mother has sent me a Halloween card that says “Watch out for flying pumpkins!” She probably bought the cards, as well as some little Halloween gifts, at least eight months in advance and had everything wrapped, stamped and ready to go each year on September 1st.

Halloween is my favorite holiday when the semi-suppressed kid in me goes hog-wild decorating with creepy stuff that scares really little kids. But I must admit the lack of that tradition of a card for this last couple of years has been bittersweet since the Alzheimer’s grim reaper came to visit.  At any rate, I  tell this story at least once a year explaining why my Mom always sent me a card that said “Watch out for flying pumpkins” each year.

As I was growing up, one of my closest friends was almost as big of a freak as I was.  Actually a few were but I’m going to focus on one of them for now. I had a way of attracting them.

In sixth grade, we didn’t want to admit that we still had closets full of Barbie condos, cars and outfits, so we began disrobing them and being creepier than we already were.  We would prop them up on mailboxes and trees naked on the path between our houses ( she lived up the hill a good ten or so houses away).  We always attached notes with disturbing sentiments to amuse each other. That way whichever of us was walking would have to see them and collect them for reuse at another date. (We brought Barbie arms to each other’s weddings for photo opps of Barbie’s arm in our wedding cakes.)

We even put one in the middle of the road one time with ketchup on it like it had been run over.  Cranky Mrs. Clapp from across the street (our version Mrs. Kravitz) found me less than amusing and came and told my mother about it. What a buzz kill.  Fortunately my mother already knew I was warped.  It was in the genes.

At any rate, one year my friend and I wanted to go trick-or-treating even though we were in the 9th grade.  We wanted to be those creepy way-too-old kids that come to the door for candy and make people want to lock the door early.  Clearly we thought we were hilarious.

I wore a super realistic (or I thought so at the time) ‘old man’ mask and a man’s sports coat, and used a golf club as my cane.  I cant’ remember what my friend’s get-up was, but I’m thinking she was equally disguised so no one would realize what freak geeks we were trick-or-treating in high school.

As we strolled up and down the streets on our neighborhood Halloween haunt, suddenly a speeding car came racing by us. It kept turning around at the end of the street and racing by us again.   It was a navy blue Honda Prelude (I can’t believe I remember but I can see it now). It was a 1980s version before they came out with the new body style which I thought was super cool.  (The new body style had a “moon roof” and I used to tape magazine ads of it up around my dad’s office and house to give subtle hints of my auto preferences.)

Anyway, about the third or fourth time the Honda Prelude zoomed by us, I decided ( in keeping with my character) to wave my cane in the direction of the car and yell “Slow down you meddling kids!” full-on Hanna Barbera style.

The next thing I knew I woke up on a couch at my neighbor’s house.  The house that now had splattered pumpkin all over the driveway.  Luckily they called my Mom and when I came to, she was staring down at me as I lay on the couch.  My friend had probably crapped her pants by now thinking I might be dead, I can’t remember.  But I’m thinking she’ll remember when she reads this post.

I had a gash on my nose from where the stem of the pumpkin made its impact and it knocked me out cold. Those meddling kids had been throwing pumpkins out of their speeding car that night (super smart, almost as smart as I was yelling at a car and waving my fake cane).  My mom and her boyfriend (now my stepdad) drove me to the Emergency Room in his super cool white Firebird. As we walked in , I kid you not, my mom said to the nurses at the front desk “My daughter’s been hit by a flying pumpkin.”

The nurses at the station did everything in their power not to break out into hysterical laughter at my expense. I was sort of out of it, but that part I will never forget. Complete teenage mortification was in process and it was only getting started.

I got to miss school that next day.  The ER doc told them I had a concussion.  I sort of remember my Mom waking me up in the middle of the night to make sure I was breathing.

Word got around school about what had happened to me.  Nice, my nerd cover was WAY blown.  Turns out the person who threw the pumpkin was an upperclassman named Doug that I sort of had a crush on (I promise I am not making this up).  What are the odds? Word got around that my dad was a lawyer, so he got scared and called me at my house to apologize.  That was a super fun conversation to have with an upper classman.  I was mortified.

It all ended well and makes a great story to tell that explains the “Watch out for flying pumpkins” cards.  I am grateful that I survived the Pumpkin Incident (sounds like a Charlie Brown holiday special)  even though I miss receiving that card every year. I’m also celebrating my 50th post – half way through my 100-day gratitude challenge!   What are you grateful for today? Thanks so very much for reading!

Traveling the world through WordPress. Gratitude Experiment: Day 47

I The city of Surabaya. Pictures from Wikipedia Commons

Being Freshly Pressed  filled my inbox for a few days, made me privy to fascinating debates about voting rights, and gave me a great ego trip.  And, I came across a few people with whom I have a heck of a lot in common with and many who are wonderful writers.

Even better, I was downright fascinated with the ability to participate in a pretty civil discourse with people from at least 13 countries, especially given that my post was somewhat political in nature.

In the past three days I’ve had over 300 views per day, with 363 just yesterday. That is crazy.  But very cool.

WordPress let’s you breakdown your visits or views by country. This is yesterday’s breakdown for my blog views by country:

Country                       Views

United States                     232

United Kingdom                   23

Canada                               13

India                                  12

Argentina                            10

Indonesia                             5

Japan                                   5

Philippines                            5

Germany                              4

Italy                                     4

Armenia                               4

Lithuania                              4

Ireland                                 4

One fellow blogger who liked my “Register to Vote” post lived in Surabaya and their blog was available in Malay or English.  I didn’t recognize Surabaya as a place or Malay as a language, so after a quick Google search, I learned that Surabaya is Indonesia’s second-largest city with a population of over 2.7 million (5.6 million in the metropolitan area), and the capital of the province of East Java. It is located on the northern shore of eastern Java at the mouth of the Mas River and along the edge of the Madura Strait. It turns out that Malay is the national language of Indonesia, Malaysia and Brunei, and it is one of four official languages of Singapore

I also learned that Indonesia is the fourth most populous nation in the world. And the number of people who speak Indonesian fluently there is quickly approaching 100%, making Indonesian, and thus Malay, one of the most widely spoken languages in the world.

Okay, enough with the geography lesson.  But it is fascinating.

In the end, I enjoyed participating in a conversation with so many interesting people from so many countries across the world.  Who would have thought that could happen so easily?  I sure didn’t.  And for that I am grateful.

Reason to Think. Gratitude Experiment: Day 30

Today I learned very sad news about an old school friend who lost her son to suicide this morning. He was only 16. On the outside, this handsome young man seemed to be a kid that had absolutely everything going for him. My heart aches for their family and my stomach is weak at very the thought.

Though I do not know details about events leading up to this tragic event, it makes me want to stand on my little soap box for a bit about depression.

Depression is real. It exists. It is not made-up or imagined.  Clinical anxiety and depression are neurological disorders, and are due to an imbalance of chemicals, such as serotonin, in the brain.  It cannot be wished away.

Our society as a general rule does not take depression seriously and tends to paint it with the biased brush of weakness.  This is mainly because it is misunderstood. And when people don’t understand, they can often jump to conclusions, just like in politics or anything else. But depression can happen to anyone, big or tall, male or female, old or young, weak or strong.  It can happen for a short time or it can happen for a long time. There are many hereditary factors as well as external factors that can affect the odds of someone experiencing depression.

According to MedScape.com, as many as two thirds of people with depression do not realize that they have a treatable illness and do not seek treatment. And only 50% of those diagnosed with major depression receive any kind of treatment at all.  Until it is better understood by the public and even health providers, the stigma will continue to outweigh the benefits of diagnosis and treatment.

It is important to note that depression is very common in teenagers, as well as adults. Suicide, most often a result of depression, is the third leading cause of death among people aged 15 to 24 years old and the eighth leading reported cause of death in the United States.  Male teenagers are much more often successful at suicide attempts.  According to Wikipedia, American males between the ages of 20 and 24 have a suicide rate that is seven times higher than that of women.

For teenagers, changes in behavior, friend choices, academics and attitude must be more than noticed.  They must also be addressed head-on, with professional help if needed.

I must also note that therapy is very misunderstood by society.  Participating in psychotherapy is not a sign of weakness. Actually it is quite the opposite.  It requires a willingness to dig deep into self, and to understand complex patterns of thinking. It’s for those with the type of grit necessary to turn their own heavy handed mirror inward and accept themselves, flaws and all. And as a reward, students of therapy get to grow by leaps and bounds from the knowledge gained.

Today, while I am truly saddened for my friend and her family’s great loss and the sorrowful days ahead, I am thankful for the knowledge that depression is slowly becoming more understood by our society.

Breakfast Club Flashback. Gratitude Experiment: Day 25

Today as I sat waiting in the high school parking lot to drop off my son’s tennis equipment before he left for a tennis match, I was transported to another world.  Actually back to my world back in high school.  And the world according to the Breakfast Club movie in 1985.

This movie has been hailed as one of the greatest high school films of all time, by John Hughes (God rest his fantastic movie making soul).  And the song – “Don’t You Forget About Me,” that instantly reminds my generation of scenes from the movie that have stayed with us since.

The movie follows  five students—Allison Reynold (Ally Sheedy),  Andrew Clark (Emilio Estevez), John Bender (Judd Nelson), Brian Johnson (my favorite Anthony Michael Hall),  and Claire Standish (Molly Ringwald) as they surprisingly find common ground with each other throughout a single day of detention on a Saturday.  Each student represented a different clique or stereotype within the school.  If you haven’t seen it, rent it.

Watching the disbursement of high schoolers on a Friday after school took me right there. I watched each stereotype pass the front of my car. During a phase when I am feeling a little old and thinking things are so very different, I suddenly realized things really didn’t seem that different. Had nothing really changed except for the fact that they each had a cell phone and ATM card in their pocket?

The ‘Jock’s (although in this case both male and female) were gathered on the sidewalk high-fiveing each other.  The ‘punk’ hard edge type kids were all walking alone with a jolted gate, looking very guarded. I even saw one bump into a jock, then the jock got upset and held his hands out just like in the movies (if only he had been wearing a letter jacket), then the punker extended his hand and they shook hands and did a “bro” hug.  I should have been filming as it was stereotypical perfection.

Then I also watched as the many ‘princesses’ dialed for their rides exhaustedly while flipping their hair in frustration and simultaneously watching peripherally to see who was checking them out.  Then came the ‘brainiacs’/nerds as I watched them attempt to talk to the cute girl jocks while the huge guy jocks with gelled hair stood to the side fanning their feathers.  They didn’t stand a chance but I was rooting for them.  And I sadly watched a ‘misfit’ walk out to her car alone.

Maybe they will all be in detention together one day and bond over their similarities, but I doubt it.  More likely, they will all find themselves in different cubicles of the same corporate world and bond over the lack of sunlight.  Sorry, that was dark.

Today I am just grateful that the world isn’t really racing ahead as fast as I thought.  And that makes me happy.

Global positioning gratitude. Gratitude Experiment: Day 24

The other day my son asked me how people used to get around before Global Positioning Systems, or GPS.  I’ve gotten so accustomed to relying on a GPS to help me find my way, I actually had to think about it for a while.

I told him that  for years we used to look a lot of things up on MapQuest and print out directions to take with us before we left .  And before that, we made sure the car was stocked with maps of whatever state we were crossing or city we were in. I remember driving across the country for two days with at thick  notebook of maps for each state we crossed.  And I’m pretty sure we padded a lot more time into car trips in case we got lost.

Just the other day I found a stack of car maps in my garage and couldn’t figure out what to do with them.  I didn’t have the heart to throw them away.  I’m sure there’s some kind of craft project I could do with them, if I was crafty.  Wallpaper the dining room with them?  That could be cool.  And come to think of it, should maps be saved in case there is an Apocalypse and we lose power to map by computer?  Something to think about.  Clearly, we take computerized mapping for granted.

All who know me realize that calling me geographically challenged is an understatement, so I am especially reliant upon my GPS.  One of my dear friends who I have known since second grade is equally challenged in this area.  Back in college, we were known to entirely miss highway exits and end up an hour out of the way — sometimes in the wrong state — before we realized.  We went off of memory for some road trips, and that was a dangerous prospect when the two of us were in a car together. Did I really just admit that?  Yes.

I used to call another dear old friend my “Geographical Yoda” because if I was lost  anywhere in my home town, I could call her and she could direct me by phone.  She was my OnStar before OnStar existed.  And I didn’t even drive a Cadillac.

I think of the generations who have never known mapping any other way and I am glad that I can read an old fashioned map (for the most part).  But today I am ever so grateful for my GPS.