Waxing Kundalini. 10 Lessons Learned.


Lessons learned from my first attempt this year to officially get off my butt and exercise (after a much too lengthy hiatus):

1. Too many muffins = muffin top even in cool yoga pants.

2. When you don’t recognize the type of yoga listed, look it up before showing up. (Especially if you can’t pronounce it.)

3. First sign you may be in over your head: When you arrive to check in and say, ” I called and they said this class is okay for beginners”  and the teacher takes a long pause and says “… Uhhh…. well… SURE it is. Welcome….”

4. When all else fails, fake it and act like you know what you’re doing. (No one will notice when you keep one eye open to double check during the eyes closed parts.)

5. Second and third signs that you might be in over your head: When the teacher says she’s picked out a much harder class sequence for after the holiday and she apologizes in advance.  Then, when you’re about to pass out already and the teacher says “okay…we’re almost done warming up.”

6. Do not sit by the only male in the class who is clearly an overachiever with extremely loud and forceful breathing.  (Otherwise it’s far too distracting and windy during the “fire breathing” portions of the exercises.)

7. Figure out where everyone else gets the mantra chanting song sheets ahead of time (watermelon, watermelon doesn’t seem to work when you’re chanting in a  small group).

8. Have a tissue at the ready for the “fire-breathing” parts of the exercises when the teacher tells you to switch from forceful mouth exhales to forceful exhales through the nose. (Especially if you have allergies, it can get messy.)

9. Bring a second tissue for the cleansing song at the end of the 75 minutes of hard core Kundalini yoga.  (You’ll think it’s corny when it starts.  Until you’re wiping away your tears.)

10. You will be sore as hell the next day and probably have a hard time walking down the stairs very quickly.  But you’ll be so proud of yourself that you might even treat yourself to a new pair of cool yoga pants with built-in compression in the butt and gut areas (worth every penny, and a great motivator to go to the next class).

About Kundalini Yoga from about.com: Is Kundalini for You? (the part I probably should have looked up before going) ….

Kundalini is one of the more spiritual types of yoga. It goes beyond the physical performance of poses with its emphasis on breathing, meditation, mudras and chanting. However, the Kundalini sequences can be very physically intense. This type of yoga appeals to those who are up for both mental and physical challenges.

In the end, I’m so glad I tried this class.  I will be going again.  Happy 2013!

13 thoughts on “Waxing Kundalini. 10 Lessons Learned.

  1. May The Force be with you. I did my time with yoga and it was great until I ended up with a torn hamstring (4 months and still recovering). I know exactly what you’re talking about with “fire breathing” and the whole nine yards.

    Just don’t push yourself. My Physical Therapist said that he has seen a ton of people due to yoga-related injuries–trying to follow the instructor’s position when your body isn’t as flexible.

  2. I thought that Kundalini was another word for vajayjay… I thought this was going to be a story about a bad waxing experience…. LMAO! Good post, though… hope you find your “center”.

  3. Other than this: “… Uhhh…. well… SURE it is. Welcome….”.. I would have loved something like this.. you go girl !!!
    Funny post;-)

  4. I was supposed to get my back straightened out before going to yoga, but man! I don’t know if I can wait! Hopefully when I do show up, it will be for a true beginners class. Much fun as this was to read, I suspect my desire to return for seconds were I there would be very low. 🙂

  5. You might also try some Iyengar yoga classes. No fire breath but the work on the poses is exacting and strenuous (in a good way).

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