Are you tired of hearing about New Year’s resolutions yet?
As cliché as it sounds, I love New Year’s resolutions. It’s quite liberating to step back and assess which of my thought patterns and habits need to be tweaked or ‘given the finger.’ Kind of like cleaning out the fridge after the holidays.
Especially right after I take down all of my Christmas decorations and re-box them in the basement. This cleansing ritual helps me settle my thoughts and reach inward to my control panel to adjust whatever habits need some fine-tuning and determine which thinking patterns need to be given ‘the bird.’ (My son has never heard of these ‘bird’ references related to the middle finger gesture. I know this because he was the co-director in my middle finger photo shoot. My e-book on parenting will be out soon.)
So, let’s get on with it. To which thought patterns and habits shall I flip the bird to this coming year?
In 2013, I am going to give the one finger salute to the following:
1.My inner gremlins. (Translation: I will throw negative self talk out the window at every possible turn.) This is particularly important as the new year begins, because this whole resolution thing can often turn into a time when we beat ourselves up about what we didn’t accomplish last year. I’ve been a lot better about this, which I’m proud of, but I am a work in progress. My inner gremlins still mess with me.
The trick to taming these gremlins (who like to sabotage us with negative self talk and excuses) is to become aware of them. And notice when they typically start yammering. As a great book for all ages, (Taming Your Gremlin), explains, gremlins hate to be noticed. It throws them off guard and weakens them. This year I will recognize my gremlins and push them in the corner. (This is when I picture giving the gremlins the one finger salute as I walk away while tuning my self- talk to a more positive station.)
2. The barrage of marketing attempts raging around me at all times. I will no longer waste time thinking about buying things that marketers are quite good at making me think that I need. Or waste time thinking about how to redesign my perfectly functional kitchen or closets. I will focus on what matters. I will NOT get sucked in by direct mail catalogs, marketing emails, and ridiculous coupons (DAMN THOSE MACY’S SAVING PASS CARDS) that distract me from the more important things in life.
For goodness sake, I have a marketing background, and I still get sucked in. This year I will be more cognizant of how I spend my time. Maybe I will set-up an email rule to sort all of my advertising emails (many of them that I signed up for in order to receive discounts that just sucker me in) into a folder that I can open only if a need actually arises? What a concept.
3. Small stuff that doesn’t matter. I’m going to think less about what bothers me and instead strive to love more. I’m going to make time to encourage others, to lift them up, to help others, and to make sure they know how much I care about them. I will forget about the small, stupid stuff that irritates me. I won’t hold others to my standards, or expect them to behave as I would. I will turn that little mirror inward immediately when I start to complain or get irritated.
4. Worry. This year I will worry less and live in the moment more. I will worry less about what people think, about what kind of shape I’m in, about what I wished I had done before today, about my Mom, about whether I’m doing enough, about being far away from so much family, about my kids growing up too fast, about what could, might or will happen. I will live in the moment and do the best that I can as often as I can, and know that it’s enough.
5. The excuses that stunt my personal growth. I will set aside routine time and plan deadlines for myself this year for writing, meditation, fine-tuning my body and taking better care of myself, learning new skills and taking time to do some things that fire-up my internal engines like painting or volunteering or riding horses. As a result, I will grow more as a person this year.
6. Going through the motions. Instead, I will be more awake this year. I will ‘show-up’ for life. I will not focus on what’s expected, but rather what feels right. I will notice and listen and observe. I won’t play it as safe.
I realize there will be hurdles along the way and that flipping-off all of these negative patterns 100% of the time will not be easy. (I also realize that I shouldn’t start flipping anyone or anything off in public.) But I’m going to do my damnedest to make some changes and fully engage in this mental tune-up.
It’s going to be a fun year. Thanks, as always, for being on this journey with me.
Any old thought patterns you’d like to ‘shoot the bird’ to this year?
life on wry 
Stopped by from Susie’s party. I love your take on New Year’s resolutions. I don’t have inner gremlins, but I do have inner dragons. I don’t flip them off, but I do try not to feed them. They tend to bite of fingers (and arms).
Love it! Thanks for stopping by. Love your blog name. Will check it out!
Love your list and your upside-down approach to resolutions! I’m definitely going to flip off those gremlins this year. Those bastards have been creeping in far too much in the last couple of years, but I equipped myself with a trusty, high-powered torch to light up the corners – they won’t escape. 🙂
Love it!
I have nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Please pick it up in person within the next 24 hours in Stockholm, Sweden. Or check out my blog at your leisure.
Thank you so much!!! On my way to Sweden.
Thank you so very much!
How could I ever resist a post with a pic of someone giving the finger? Brilliant!
Seriously great post. I think shrugging off negativity is an excellent goal for most people— not for me, though. Sooooo part of who I am. I kind of enjoy my gremlins. They even have names!
Don’t worry, I’m keeping plenty of negativity for my dark side… Life wouldn’t be complete without the dark side.
I’m flipping the bird to loneliness. After spending the second half of 2012 traveling solo, I’m full up on loneliness. I’m saying “fuck you” to that little demon in my head that says no one wants to be around me. I’m reaching out, loving more, and being courageous in the most vulnerable of ways.
Thanks for sharing your humorous inspiration! Glad I found your blog. I’ve become a follower. Would you consider returning the favor by checking out and following my blog? I think you’d dig it. Let’s grow together.
journeytowildness.blogspot.com
You bet. I’ll check it out! Thanks for the follow and good for you for the FU!
This is great! Followed over from Susie’s site and so glad I did. Will be digit-ally exercising the “bird” in the coming months.
got here from Susie’s place… I like your resolutions and I will forward your thoughts so I cna remember them when I reflect and reset after school is out in June…. I hear you I am at the point in life where I need to worry less, yet it consumes me at times… I like my Starbucks (a consistent cup of coffee) but everywhere I turn it’s the same. Makes me think of Lois lowry’s The Giver a YA novel I teach – all about sameness… maybe I’ll flip the bird, too! Good luck and I look forward to watching you Make Your Days Count!
Stopping by from Susie’s party…I’m definitely with you on #5.
Thanks for stopping by!
Hahaha! I will have to look for that parenting e-book. 🙂
I agree about the internal gremlins. They steel my energy and need to be put in their place. I will remember to flip them off in the future!
Thanks for bringing this link to the party!
I hope you will have fun clicking on links and they will click back! Tell them, “Susie sent you!”
What a great idea – your use me and abuse me blog day! Thanks much fellow Colorado blogger. i’m enjoying your blog!
Thanks so much! I am so glad you came to the party!
I completely feel it with number 5 – that’s on the top of my list 😉
Happy 2013!
All admirable goals. Are they pasted to your refrigerator door as reminders? I find that useful! 😉
I’m trying to figure out a way to remind myself each day like that. Good reminder.
I like this from #5: “Taking time to do some things that fire-up my internal engines.”
Horses scare me and I can’t paint, but I’ll find my bliss….
This one resonates with me: “Taking time to do some things that fire-up my internal engines.” Horses scare me and I can’t paint, but I’ll find my bliss…..
Great resolutions! My own published goals are less virtuous, I’m afraid. Thanks for the like on my blog and I’m glad I discovered yours!
Holy cow. #6 just reached out and grabbed me. Perhaps I need to add that to my list, as well?
Can’t WAIT for that book on parenting to be released–you are hilarious!
Exactly what we all need to focus on too! Please consider joining our blog carnival PLEASE! Contact me at: MIdlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com if you have an interest! – Laura Lee Carter, Midlife researcher, author, psychotherapist
Habits…like a routine…take about 30 days to take hold. I’m about three weeks into some time changes and they are really making things easier. Set a small goal of 30 days to set the foundation to build on.
Excellent idea. Thanks so much…
I’d say you do all these things, you will be one satisfied customer.. Worry less is one of the big things on my list too. Learn to allow what is meant to happen because regardless of how much I worry, if it’s meant to be it will..Here’s to a mentally cleansed 2013!!