1. You yearn to be ID’d at the liquor store
2. You must ask the Pizza Delivery guy what the total says on the receipt before you add a tip and sign (especially after dusk).
3. You have actually used a tiny flashlight in a dark restaurant so you could read the menu – even with your glasses.
4.Your stomach has transformed into someone else’s stomach that is much softer. (And pizza doesn’t seem to be helping.)
5. You’re in denial. Today in order to use my new little combo luggage lock I bought for my yoga locker, I had to hide my cheapo reader glasses up on top of the lockers in order to be sure I’d be able to see the combo and get back into my locker after class. (I made sure the two half naked 20 year olds discussing Paris weren’t watching as I reached up to grab them – would have been too humiliating – because Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt.)